Monday, August 12, 2013

Why I got married

Yesterday, I helped Matt teach his Sunday School class.
He teaches the 14-17 year olds every other week.
(Actually, I forgot something at home, but I still don't know how to get to church.
So Matt had to run home for me.)

The topic for this month is "Marriage and Family" and
 yesterday's topic was "the importance of marriage."

I walked in and asked them,
"Why should you get married?"

They kind of looked and mumbled at me for a while.
Not really having an answer.
None of the ten kids sitting in front of me had a reason
 why they would get married.

”A Perfect Marriage... Is just two Imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.”

I kind of feel many people my age are a bit like those kids.
A few weeks ago at the playgroup in my complex the mom's were talking about this topic.
One of the ladies said that she only got married, because her husband wouldn't let her have a kid unless they were.
She talked about how she was actually quite upset with him about it.
She didn't want a wedding and that was the only difference she saw between getting married and living together.
She said now though that she had been married for 4 years that she was glad he said that.
She said she didn't know why, but now she feels that marriage just makes it easier.
Another mom piped up and said she felt the same way.
She got married because her mom expected it and she thought a wedding would be fun.

I didn't say anything during this conversation.
I wasn't really sure what to say.
Marriage is the way my family does things.
It's part of my religion.
I never doubted that I would get married.
(And I definitely didn't get married for wedding)

But now a few weeks later I did have a response to those teenagers.
It might not be the best response, but it's why I wanted to get married.

I got married because it's a legal commitment and the more commitment the better.
I got married because I think God wants us too.
I got married because I feel that a marriage is the best way to raise kids.
I got married because I want to be like those old couples who have been married for over 60 years and still like each other.
I got married because I like having a piece of paper on the wall saying that Matt Nielsen is mine for all time and eternity. 
(It really is on our wall.)

I like how entwined our lives are.
I like watching Matt being a dad.
I like loving him and not feeling insecure when I get mad at him.

I like the way my life has been for the last 2 years,
and that's because I decided to get married.

Thanks for asking me to marry you honey.
Thanks for planning the wedding with me.
Thanks for showing up.

Happy Anniversary.

(Matt addendum:)
During the lesson, Michele made an interesting comment; "These days, marriage is only cool if you are gay." This isn't intended to insult or offend anyone, just an observation about society. I got married because I wanted to keep Michele forever. Kind of selfish I guess but it's true. I think marriage is important because it symbolizes deep and enduring commitment. The kind that rides out rapids and weathers storms and doesn't take off when things get uncomfortable. I think that the deepest fear of many people is loneliness. Being married, I know that there is always someone who has my back.


  1. I think so many feel the way that you do Michele, but it is so obvious and special, that sometimes it is hard to put it into simple words. Good job, and congratulations! (you also did GREAT on your talks yesterday and I like getting to "know" you both better!)

    1. Thanks! I'm glad you liked our talks and this post. I'll hopefully see you soon. :)

  2. I love this post! Beautiful, honest, and true!
    Our Fairy Tale

    1. I'm glad! Matt and I were worried that it might be a bit too honest for our blog.

  3. Happy Anniversary!!! I love reading your posts :)

    1. Thanks! We had so much fun yesterday.

  4. This is the best post! I was going through your blog-- I love everything you said!