Modern Nursery Rhymes

Matt asked me tonight to grab a book for him to read to Baby.

I had just gone to the library today and have a small stack of new books to read.

I grabbed him one of 3 nursery rhyme books for him. 

I had heard small creatures like things that rhyme,

and I had thought classic Mother goose was a good place to start.

Anyway, a few minutes after he started reading to her,

he called me back into our room.

"Do you know what these are?"

"uh...nursery rhymes?"

"They make no sense!

And half of them are just gruesome, and why are so many of them British??!"

(I just want to point out up to this point, we had no problems with British lit. in our household.)

After a few more minutes he just gave up reading to her.

(How can someone hate nursery rhymes??? 

Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, I can sort of understand...

But really?Nursery Rhymes?)

So onto google I went

to find better, more interesting, non-British rhymes

Here are some I found...

Jack and Jill went to town

To fetch some chips and sweeties

He can't keep his heart rate down

And now has diabetes 

HACKER BOY HACKER BOY 

 Hacker-boy, hacker-boy, where have you been?

 I sat in my bedroom and stared at a screen. 

Hacker-boy, hacker-boy, what did you see? 

I built a new virus upon my PC. 

Hacker-boy, hacker-boy, where is it now? 

It is shutting the lights off in Rome and Macao. 

Hacker-boy, hacker-boy, what did you do? 

I proved that I'm better than anyone knew. 

Hacker-boy, hacker-boy, why do you smile? 

My virus has wormed through a Pentagon file. 

Hacker-boy, hacker-boy, why are you sad? 

They've put me in prison for being so bad. 

Twinkle Twinkle L-E-D [This poem is about data centers]

Twinkle, Twinkle L-E-D, how I wonder what you be?

Up above, the access floors – under which your cabling lies.

When the sun is gone, the L-E-D shines on.

Flickering, flickering, flickering lights, twinkle, twinkle, all day and all night.

Mary had a little iPhone its case was white as snow;
And everywhere that Mary went, the iPhone was sure to go.
It followed her to school each day, which was against the rule;
It made the children laugh and play, when seeing the Angry Birds.
And so the teacher turned the iPhone off, but still it lingered near,
And waited patiently did Mary – for the class to clear.
“Why does Mary love her iPhone so?” the angry teacher cried;
“Because she’s a snobby little gen-Y” the classroom mockingly replied.

Maybe Matt will like those a little more...
If not here is a link that can tell him why the British ones are so gruesome.
Does any one else have problems with nursery rhymes or is this just a Matt thing?
And if you have anymore modern rhymes to add, let me know!

http://diaryofasoontobeyummymummy.blogspot.com/2013/01/alternative-nursery-rhymes.html

http://ninefold.com/blog/innovation/nursery-rhymes-for-kids-in-the-21st-century/