Friday, March 29, 2013

Southern Belles - Rule #91

Sissy wasn't really beautiful, but men never noticed. With her deep, green eyes, her shoulder-length auburn hair that swung when she moved, and the way she moved as if she enjoyed just being inside her body, men had always paid her lots of attention....[Sissy's] mother and grandmother had wanted her to grow up a gracious southern lady. Her grandmother just didn't want those men to grind her down. Sissy had added to it over the years, until the Southern Belle's Handbook became her personal credo. She it in her head, assigning numbers at random, but then Sissy always did had a random relationship with numbers.

That's the intro to one of many of my favorite Southern Belle books (after all, Southern belles are just modern day princesses). I started brushing up on the rules to get ready for our move (not to the South), but then I realized that Baby doesn't know them yet. So we are going to take a rule a day to focus on to teach her. (When I get the book of Fran Fine quotes, those will be mingled in here too.)

Southern Belle Secret #91 - Act helpless and confused when it's to your advantage; never let them know just how clever and capable you are.

I know this one sounds so condescending but it hands down fits today. And I know this one well. I was raised on it. My mother calls this the "dumb blonde act." One of my mom's best friends is really pretty and blonde, and people sometimes talk condescendingly to her. She, like a southern belle, does not let this mess up her day. She simply starts looking confused and helpless, while carefully putting together questions that make the person realize they are an being idiot. She sweetly helps guide themselves to realizing they are wrong, and in the process, gets her way.

It might sound degrading, but sometimes you really just run into those people who will not listen. They are so mean and prideful. They don't care if you have read up all week on the topic, or even if you have it in writing right in front of them. They are right and you are wrong in their eyes and nothing will change it. You gnash your teeth and glare, but you know that one way or another that you have to figure out how to have them see your way. That's when you pull out this card, and if you do it right, you'll get your way. It really is quite an art.

I spent 2 hours on the phone with insurance people today. They weren't listening, but in the end, by asking tons of questions and "acting" confused (I was actually confused...they were making no sense what-so-ever), I got my way. :)

 Baby is better at this one than me. She has it down pretty good. She knows how to look confused and helpless
so that her minions people around her will do whatever she wants them to do.

For any of my blogger friends, you should join us. It will be fun. :) 


  1. I, for one, am very much looking forward to learning these fine secrets of modern day princessing with you and the adorable Madeleine.

  2. I love this. In a way, it's like one of Dale Carnegie's rules of How to Win Friends and Influence people. It may be your idea. You may be right up and down, but if you ask questions (play blonde) and guide the other person through your thought process and make them feel like they came up with the solution (my hero!), they will revel in the praise and credit and you still get your way.