Pregnancy :)

38 weeks people. Baby Offspring is still happily kicking away, which most days is fine with me. (I’m kind of hoping to go into labor tonight though so her birthday would be 12/12/12.)

Today was one of the more pathetic moments of being pregnant. I had just one final to take to graduate. I studied today, wrote out my note card, ate dinner, and was completely set to take my final. Matt had a final that would take just about the same amount of time, so we decided to take our finals at the same time. I got my test and found a spot right by Matt, and sat down.

I didn’t fit in the dumb testing center desk!! So I got back up and took off my coat, and then I could barely squeeze in. During the whole test, I had some issues breathing normally, but I managed to finish just fine. 

So since this whole pregnancy thing is almost done, here are my notes/advice for next time we decide we want a baby.

0. Don’t. (--courtesy of Matt)

1. Every pregnancy is different. Don’t judge the pregnant girl in your class who never stops eating or glare at the lady who loves being pregnant.

2. Babies come at 40 weeks (Not 24, 32, or 36.5 weeks) I’m really not good at this whole waiting thing.

3. Babies make your body hurt in really weird ways. Baby toes in the ribs hurt and feel really weird. Hips popping out of location hurts too.

4. You have to be a lot more comfortable with your body. Weird sounds coming from you? Totally normal. I didn’t even know pelvic bones could make sounds like that.

5. Baby kicks are cute. I think this is the best part about being pregnant. (unless it gets you in the ribs, see #3 – also Matt)

6. Drink lots of water.  Apparently camels can drink 80% of their body weight. I’m just aiming for 3%, like 4-5 lbs.  

7. Nurses can be stupid or really helpful. “Sorry sweetheart, I wish I could do something about your pain, but the only other option other than Tylenol is narcotics.”

8. Say “no” if you don’t want to do anything. I seem to forget this a lot, and then I would feel overwhelmed and Matt would find me in a puddle of overwhelmed-ness. It was sad.

9. If you can eat something, eat it. Don’t worry about how healthy it is. I remember going shopping with a friend in my first trimester. I grabbed for the oreos and she pointed out all the healthier options that I could be eating. I gave her a look and told her that while eating healthy was a good theory, I was just looking for stuff I wouldn’t throw up. I feel the same way now when people pin workout routines on pinterest. Nice in theory, totally a different story when there is a baby in your ribs.

10. It’s okay to cry on the bed and eat lots of mint Milano’s while reading mommy blogs. I love mommy blogs. They are the best.

11. Leave the house once a day.

12. Baths are divine. Though your husband might get mad that there is never hot water and threaten to get his own water heater. (Which is a good idea: “His” and “Hers” -- Matt.)

13. Prenatal vitamins are worth taking even if you throw them up. I’m really bad at remembering the health benefits of these.

14. The last few months I should probably not talk to anyone outside of my family (or in – Matt) in case people think I’m crazier than normal. Matt should have kept track of all the crazy things I’ve said. They are pretty awesome.

15. People feel entitled to give their opinion about your baby, your body, your parenting styles, etc. Figure out what you want beforehand and then tell them to go to a fiery afterlife.

16. Google can answer almost any question and is easier to use at 1:00 A.M. than a 300+ page baby advice book.  (Imagine making money off convincing pregnant ladies they need to do even more. – Matt)

17. 8:00 P.M. is a totally acceptable time to go to bed. And several naps are nice too.

I’m excited for Baby Offspring to come. We are ready as we know how to be with her, and the roads are clear.