Facebook

I'm definitely one of those people that like facebook better than real interactions sometimes. I feel like this is not a popular opinion, but over the last year or two I've decided that I really am okay with it. While I get daily conversations with other in person friends, I have no guilt for hanging out at home and only talking to people through facebook.

Other than keeping in touch with real friends through my news feeds, here are some other ways I use facebook.

I use it to plan events.

Neighborhood playgroup? Meet up at the farmer's market? All happens through facebook.

I use it to get parenting advice.

I love this one. When I was a new mom, I joined many parenting groups that focused on different parenting styles. As I ran into problems, I could ask or just browse through the archives. My questions are usually answered within a few minutes. Now that Madeleine is a toddler I have one group that I mainly use that actually has a few of the leading experts in the group. It's nice getting answers from them.

I use it to learn hobbies

There are so many things I have learned thanks to facebook and youtube. Crocheting, doll making, sewing, cooking, just to name a few. When I start a new hobby, the first thing I do is look for a facebook group.

I use it for home education.

I wanted to teach Madeleine the colors a few months back. After asking a few questions in a group, I had a full month unit given to me of what books to check out, what questions to ask her, and different activities we could do. On a smaller day to day bases, I have literally hundreds of ideas at my finger tips and unlike pinterest, if I have a question, I can ask the person directly who I'm copying the activity from. My favorites are actually the waldorf groups right now since I like how they set routines and teach chores and cooking to toddlers (and many other things that are all fantastic).

I use it for finances.

There are several groups that I'm part of that help with money. There are some that effect us financially but are not directly related like minimalism groups and the Non-consumer advocate.  But then there are some that are very money oriented like my budgeting group and investing group. I don't participate much in these, but I learn a lot from just reading other people's posts.

I use it to decorate my house.

When we moved into our new apartment, I filmed my living room and asked for feed backs in one of my groups. I got it within minutes. Free interior design advice in minutes. Pretty sweet.

I use it for social issues.

I love all the discussions about social issues. I like that I can pick when I feel like discussing it on friends' pages or reading a certain article. I also like that I can then discuss this with my friends when I see them again. Matt and I have many discussions about race, poverty, class-issues, politicians etc. that began with something I saw on facebook.

I use it for news.

Believe it or not, at this point I usually have a friend close to where most major stories happen. I usually find out major stories before they are published. I feel like the news articles that my friends share are more well-rounded than what's on CNN.

I use it for religious discussions.

There is always religious discussions going on with friends. Again, I like the fact that I can choose to skip them when I don't feel like hearing about it and "eavesdrop" on conversations when I do. I like it because I feel like it is more civil, and when it gets hostile, I can skip it. 

I use it to achieve goals.

I have several groups ranging in size that help me achieve goals. We report what our goal is and where we are at, and people cheer or give encouragement. I like being passive on most of these, but one of my favorites is a small group of 20 women. We share what our plans for the day are and check in at the end of the night. I'm one of the youngest in the group, and I have received some great tips from these women.

I use it for shopping.

Most people I think are aware of the facebook yard sale for their areas, but there are so many other things you can buy off facebook. Like vintage dolls? There is a group for that. Homeschool materials? Dozens of groups for that. Anthropologie or Boden clothing? Places for that too. 

There are other things I use facebook for with my in person friends such as remembering birthdays and stuff but I feel those are more typical uses of facebook. 

You might be thinking that I could do all of this with people in real life, and it's true. But I like that I don't know these people usually. I like that I can ask and if they judge me, it won't effect my real life. I like that it won't ruin friendships or place labels on me that I don't necessarily identify with. I also like the people I meet and chat with. I like that I can bounce ideas off of them without telling people I know. I like that I see over and over people are in general good.

Anyway, what do you facebook for? Do you like or hate it?

Getting older

 Madeleine is getting old enough that I'm really starting to use more montessori activities in our home. Most of them are practical life skills. They help me out the most and she loves them. On top of that, she's so proud of herself for helping me.

She moves all of the laundry from the laundry basket to the washer. 

 She brushes and "flosses" her own teeth.

She washes the tupperware.

She has her bath routine down. She knows how to drain the tub, put away her toys, and wrap herself in a towel. I don't even need to remind her most of the time. It's awesome.

She also knows the more complex routine of leaving the house. She not only gets her shoes, gloves, doll, doll stroller ready to leave, but she also helps me get my shoes, socks, hat, and coat on. If Baby X is around, she also grabs all of his things. It's pretty funny.

She helps pick out snacks and prepare them.

She is great at "helping" with baking. She actually is pretty good at pouring everything in and mixing...but she also has a tendency of putting fingers in all the ingredients. 

 She also has been learning how to crack and make eggs. She doesn't cook with the stove yet, but I can see that in the near future. She knows the stove is hot and that she can't touch the pan or metal part, but she also cries the whole time they are cooking...which is less than helpful.

I also recently made her a lot of little dresses. These dresses are special because she can get them on herself and they don't have a front or back. The elastic gives her plenty of room to stretch the dress while she's putting it on. 

Two has been pretty hard so far. She's struggling with the words "wait" and "after". Things like "We can leave after we pay for our food" or "After I finish this email", almost always leads to a meltdown. She's trying really hard though, and I'm hoping as we help her be a little more independent that she'll feel a bit more in control. At least that's what the theory is according to parenting books...

Coins in a jar

This is Madeleine's favorite Montessori game at the moment.

She's just about done mastering this skill so I don't think it will hold her attention much longer.

I think I'm going to introduce putting lids on different containers next.

Days 16-20

Day 16 - Decorations

A garland that I made for our failed Christmas cards.

I really should write a blog post on that.

It was so funny...after the fact.

Day 17 - Lunch

Lunch is such a process.

It's Tiny's and mine biggest meal of the day.

First, she sits on the stool in the kitchen while I scarf down my food.

If she doesn't have anything to munch on, she sits there and "yumms" until I give her food.

If I don't feel like sharing...she screams.

Lately I've been trying to deter her with other foods in the kitchen.

Then she eats.

First I try to get her to use her own spoon and fork with real food.

That quickly leads to just using her fingers.

After all the real food is eaten, I give her a bit of baby food,

just so she can practice spooning it into her mouth.

(See here. Though she's way better at it now.) 

We are also working on using a cup.

As long as there is only a teaspoon of water in there, she'll drink from the cup.

Any more than that though and it ends up all over the room.

And then we clean up.

Feeding her only takes about 10 minutes.

Lunch takes over an hour though, because she really doesn't like letting me eat.

Day 18 - Goal of the Day

Mail out Christmas cards!

Day 19 - Dinner

Thai Curry noodles

Recipe is here.

We basically eat it all the time.

Day 20 - Workout

We went grocery shopping and finished up Christmas shopping today.

It took hours.

So frustrating.

On the upside, it's all done!

Totally was a workout.

Have you ever tried carrying two weeks of groceries and a baby?

Hard work right there.

Box activity and Day 9

I try really hard to do an activity a day with Tiny.

It doesn't have to be anything complicated.

Just something that I do with her that is a bit different than playing with her toys.

Like painting.

Usually I brainstorm while she is napping.

Today I saw this brilliant "toy".

You put toys in the box, cut some holes, and tape it up.

So easy and we just got an amazon box that worked perfectly.

I made a square and round hole.

The round objects couldn't come out of the square hole.

I put an onion, orange, and a ribbon spool in that was round.

And then some of her cars, spoons, bells, and dolls in that could come out of the square hole.

I made a few mistakes.

The onion was really heavy for her, and she couldn't lift it out of the box.

I also forgot to leave enough space for her hand for a few of the objects.

But those are easy fixes.

Next time, I just need to remember not too big and not too heavy. 

She was pretty thrilled.

All around it was a success.

:)

Best part is I can use the box again and just stick different things in it.

Unintentionally there was also this little curls of cardboard on the top.

She also had a blast peeling these off. 

After that we had snack,

which is what Day 9 photo is.

I've been giving her bananas that have a small cut on the side peel.

She peels off the peel most of the time by herself.

The reason of the time she just pokes the banana out and eats it.

A lengthy answer as to why I like the Montessori method

I've been asked by a few people what the Montessori method is and why I am implementing parts of it,

and it's a long answer.

Finding Montessori

Madeleine was 7 months old, and I wasn't getting much sleep with her around. 

Motherhood was going much better

 than when she was under 5 months old, 

but it still wasn't really fun.

That day I was invited to a fall festival.

I went with Madeleine hoping to find a pumpkin patch.

Instead I found a few craft booths and then rows and rows of people advertising for childcare.

"We take children 6 weeks and up!"

"We teach them how to play the maraca while jumping on one foot!"

Each one of these booths gave away free little toys for the children to play with.

Free toys that I didn't have to buy?

I was all over that.

I saw one booth that had a pinwheel.

It was sparkly.

Madeleine would love that.

I walked over and this lady told me that if I want to be a better mother, I should sign Madeleine up for her school.

....

What?

I was offended.

Who was this stranger telling me that they could do a better job raising and teaching my kid than me?

I was pissed off.

But I put a mental sticky note in my head to look up this Montessori school and see why this arrogant lady thought my child was better off with her than me.

What it is

I went off the library and checked out 3 books about the Montessori method.

I got the original book that Maria Montessori wrote herself, one for teachers and one for parents.

I started with Maria's book.

Instantly I was amused.

It sounded like something my mother would write.

Slamming public schools left and right for forcing children into a system that even adults wouldn't like. (Matt objects and would like to point out that public school worked just fine for him and he's at Princeton.)

She talked about designing a school around the children.

Instead of changing the kids to fit the school, changing the school to fit the kids.

That meant no desk, no teacher lecturing.

She basically said that teachers should capitalize on a child's natural curiosity.

If you give children age appropriate toys,

they teach themselves what they need to know.

-

   This toy for instance is for infants.

They put the ball in the hole. 

What do they learn from this?

Gravity and object permanence; (the ball keeps coming back no matter how hard you try to make it disappear.)

It also works on their motor skills while introducing them to different textures.

A big part of Montessori method is that the teachers are observers.

Interference should be minimal.

By letting the child figure things out themselves,

they gain confidence, problem solving skills and are motivated to keep learning.

This means children should learn to be independent as soon as possible.

Clothes should be designed so children can easily dress themselves.

Sinks and tables should be their size.

They should learn to feed and clean after themselves.

The area should be clean and organized as a way to show children that we respect them so that they respect themselves.

I thought this all sounded good in theory, 

but I was still iffy about it.

It sounded too much like unschooling,

which I really dislike.

But when I went out to Utah, I talked to my best friend Danielle.

I brought the whole thing up with her,

and asked her what her opinion was.

Turns out she had a lot of good things to say about it.

Why it appealed to me

 A lot of this method was things that I had already thought of,

but felt crazy for doing it or didn't really know how to.

I was already doing baby led weaning for food.

Madeleine can use a spoon pretty well and can sit at a table,
and eat pretty much whatever we are eating, which is very similar to Montessori.

The bed thing I was thrilled for.

The educational goals were straight forward and made sense.

Carrying it out

I pitched the idea to Matt, and to my complete surprise, he raised no objections.

We baby proofed the house to an extreme.

Madeleine can roam anywhere but the bathroom and it should be safe for her.

We made her room designed around her.

We bought her a table that she could eat and sit at.

As for the toys, I had already been buying her toys that were not commercialized.

I wanted her to use her imagination.

Most of her toys are fabric, metal or wood.

I did not go out and buy her a whole bunch of expensive Montessori toys.

I didn't buy the expensive Montessori furniture either.

I based what we got off of what Marie said

"child size", "light weight" and "natural materials."

I'm not sure how natural ikea particle-board is,

but it was cheap and very light weight.

The rest of it has just been tweaking our routine a bit.

For example, while I was making dinner last night,

I let Madeleine play with our unpeeled onion on the kitchen floor.

She had a blast pealing off the papery outside layers.

I make more of an effort to include her now.

Pros

The thing I like most about it is it has made being a mom more fun.

I don't feel guilty for letting Madeleine play alone.

I don't feel like I have to watch her all the time because I recognize that interfering with every activity can be detrimental to her learning progress.

It also gives me more time to pursue my own interest.

I absolutely love what Montessori mothers put together for their babies on pinterest.

They are educational and its pretty easy to see the babies progress.

http://www.howwemontessori.com/how-we-montessori/otis-1-year/

This blog has been my favorite. I love that she shows what they do each month,
reports his progress, and tells what they are working on.

Cons

There isn't an official Montessori infant program that is good.

Maria designed the schools for ages 3-7.

The Montessori schools for children under the age of 2, I feel is just expensive childcare.

I've been more impressed with what the moms put together.

I'm not a fan of the discipline method.

It is really expensive if you're not careful.

It works better if there is more than one kid...and I only have one kid...

There isn't a lot of art.
The Waldorf method is another method that has lots of painting and music,
and many parents combine the two methods to give their children a more rounded education.

Lastly, I think this is a great method until 1st grade.

Maria argued making children sit in class was not useful
 because sitting wasn't usually a needed task in the work force. 

Of course, Maria designed this method for poor children back at the turn of the century
 when most children inevitably ended up with manual labor jobs.
Being able to sit is an important skill now.

And regardless of whether it's right or wrong, college generally consists of professors lecturing to a crowd of sitting students, so for Madeleine to be successful, she needs to learn these skills as well.

Disclaimer: There are many different ways to implement the Montessori method, and likewise, there are many other good ways to parent. I don't claim to be an expert.